So, I spent the end of last week getting ideas together for future posts dealing with differences.

I had every intention of using this week to work on those…

But then the weekend came…

And reminded me what this week might hold for me.

 

Exactly one year ago today, I sat in a hospital delivery room surrounded by friends and family waiting to give birth to my precious little baby. I was a bundle of nerves, completely unsure of what the next few days would hold for me, and scared to death of how I might react.

We had decided to induce our baby at 36 weeks, which is considered full term. It was necessary for many reasons, but I will never forget how awful I felt as my sweet baby kicked and squirmed within me throughout the three day process.

I didn’t want to end it.

I just wanted to hold on to those precious moments and never let go.


I have been dreading the thought of “revisiting” this week for quite some time, and before Saturday, I had forgotten how close it really was. It was a tough reminder, one that sent me on a roller coaster ride of emotions.

Mainly because…

Over the last few months I have experienced such healing (both physically and mentally,) and this week (to me) signifies moving forward. It doesn’t mean my baby will be forgotten or that I won’t think of him or look at his beautiful pictures, but it does mean leaving the sorrow behind. This is the last sad season….there are no more “1st holidays” without him, no more “this time last year” scenarios, just moving forward.

And sometimes that’s just hard to accept.

 

So this weekend, I found myself, once again, full of those familiar feelings…

….a bundle of nerves

….completely unsure of how I would feel over the next few days

….not wanting to let go of the precious memories that I made with my sweet baby

Wesley

 

But, Tuesday came and brought along the most wonderful sunshine, and it reminded me of the indescribable joy that I felt the day I finally got to see my precious little boy. It reminded me of the overwhelming grace that I felt in that moment, the grace that I knew could only come from my Savior.

I spent 7 hours out in that beautiful sunshine, and I’m pretty sure I absorbed every ray that I could catch. It was a magical day for me. A day that assured me…

He gives me healing….and healing is here

………..no matter what the weekend reminds me of……….

 

So this week, I’m keeping myself busy and enjoying the sunshine.


Labor & Delivery Room

One year ago today

News from my midwife

Support is an understatement

 

If you’re hurting today, let me encourage you to run to Jesus. His grace his amazing, his love never-ending, and He can heal your broken heart. If you have any questions about Christ or our baby’s story, please feel free to contact me. I would love to hear from you.


ps: This is another of those 3 am posts…please forgive any errors and try to look past my not-so-great writing skills 🙂 hehe

21 comments on “Weekend Reminder

  • Aww a natasha! You have been on my heart all week, nd this blog was so sweet! I pray God will keep giving you good days this week! I love you and thank God for you , mark ava and Wesley!

  • You are a wonderful hero to all of us! I do not have words to express my admiration of you. I am thankful that God brought you to Vision. We love you.

  • Natasha, I have been thinking of all of you this month, remembering being in Georgia this time last year for the sad good-bye. But you have worded everything so “gently” that I feel better now knowing that you are moving on. Bless your heart! We love you!

  • Tash, been thinking of and praying for you! What a wonderful testimony of God’s grace and love for us…Love you!

  • Natasha, thank you for sharing your heart. Praise the Lord for the perfect peace and grace He gives. Praying for you. Much love, Shelli

  • We love you Natasha. What a wonderful tribute to our great God, grace, and Wesley the little worshipper!

  • wow natasha great post I have been praying for you. thank you for being so honest and sharing your heart with us. love ya

  • This was a great reminder of God’s grace. Thank you so much for this encouragement, and I am glad that you are doing well. Love ya

  • Thanks Tash, for sharing your heart. Your testimony has made a huge impact on my life. Thank you for showing me how sweet it is to serve God even through the heartache. I am so thankful for the peace and grace God has given you and I will continue to pray for you. Love ya lots.

  • I don’t know you and I don’t know the full story. But your message of God’s grace and love is apparent in what I do know. I’ll be praying for you as you go through this weekend. God’s SONshine is neverending too.

    ~Kristi
    PS, I found your blog through Tom Hatley

  • You are so precious to me and I’m so thankful that God has brought you this far in such a marvelous way!!
    Love you much 🙂

  • So beautiful. I don’t know if you remember us–Cormiers. We are in Kenya now. My sister lost her 6-day-old baby girl a year and a half ago. Your pictures brought back a lot of memories. I am going to send your blog link to her. I know it will be a blessing to her. I am so glad to read how the Lord has ministered grace to your hearts just as He did to our family, especially my sister and brother-in-law.

  • Natasha, your post, and testimony will be greatly used of our Lord to help so many women. Though you were tried in the fire, you have come forth as gold!

  • Natasha,
    You don’t know me but I think you met my sister Jessica and husband BJ Cormier at a mission’s conference a couple years ago.
    Anyway, I want you both to know that your blogs are such a blessing! We too lost our firstborn daughter to deformities in ’09, and the Lord was such a strength and support through it all. Having watched you two walk through your own trial has been such a joy to me. So many fall by the way through something like this, or never get up and move on from it. Yes, those “first’s” are hard. My baby died on my birthday, so that “first” was real rough and every one since is still a little difficult, but we get through it with the Lord’s help. 🙂 Oh, what wonderful Blessed Hope our Saviour gives to us though! Knowing that we’ll see our babies again one day! We serve a wonderful Lord!

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