Our little An is now over one month old! I can’t believe it!

She is such a joy to have in our family!

I won’t lie this first month ended up being what I thought it might be….HARD! haha

It was a little tough getting back into the swing of things…having a baby around that is. We were not used to the crying especially our new baby girl’s cry (much louder than my first born’s haha,) and the round the clock feedings were something I remembered, but not the exhaustion that comes with it!

And colic?? Definitely a first for me.

BUT isn’t funny how those things that seem the hardest end up being exactly what you need?

For example…

When my first born came along, our lives were hectic and crazy! We were starting deputation (our fund raising) and were always on the go. To have had a needy baby at that time would have been very hard, but after working with infants for several years I was ready for it!! To my surprise, our little girl was instead extremely easy! She was incredibly easy going, never needy, never crying to be held, slept through the night at 4 weeks, and smiled at everyone and everything she saw. I felt extremely blessed.

When I found out we were expecting this time around, I had so much joy and yet so much anxiety left in me from my 2nd pregnancy. I had longed for a baby for several years, but starting over seemed so hard to me. When An was born, I found myself anxious about everything. I was suddenly scared she might not wake up from her sleep in the night or that her jaundice was just too high. I was never worrisome with my first about ANYTHING (haha,) but this time I found myself worrying a lot!

I think if she had been completely easy going and never needy, I might have found myself lost in all this fear and worry… missing some of the comforts of the States (like good emergency care.) But instead, my little monkey was SUPER needy the first month. She woke many times in the night (easing my worry that she may quit breathing,) wanted to be held a lot (helping fill my arms that had been longing to hold a baby for so long,) and grew quickly (which eased my worries that something may be wrong.) Yes, her neediness was exhausting, but it was exactly what I needed.

A baby who needed me.

Enough for two babies.

Every day that I feel my little girl is being “needy,” I also feel overwhelmingly thankful that I have the opportunity to be a mother to such a beautiful baby girl. I get to hold her whether she’s screaming or smiling in my arms each day.

I’m also thankful for Christ who when I was needy for a Savior came to earth and gave himself as a payment for my sins so that I could have the opportunity to have a relationship with him which will last for eternity.

I am so thankful for my Heavenly Father.

He takes care of my needs both physically and spiritually. He loves unconditionally (and never feels exhausted due to it :)) He even cares enough to know my heart and graciously gives me the desires of it…even if I may not know what they are at the time.

For now…

I know…

He has given us the perfect needy” baby for our family… and he made her that way because He is so gracious and knew my heart needed her to be.


And so this is the first post…written by this sleep deprived mommy at a late hour (hoping it isn’t too random)

Tonight, I am praying for all the sweet women in my life who’s arms are aching to love on a baby. My heart is breaking for them.


ps: Just so you know…Sweet little An really is no longer that needy.

The colic has since died down a bit…

….and sleep is making it’s way back too


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